Oh my goodness. My four children under the age of five. I could stop right there and say that’s why I haven’t been blogging lately. It takes up pretty much every minute of the day just keeping them clothed/fed/mostly happy. And even at that, I’m barely managing.
But then there’s…hormones…this postpartum body (ugh!)…lack of sleep…settling into our new home…projects…possibly homeschooling next year. Several people have told me lately what a “supermom” I am for just having had my fourth kid in four years. Let me assure you–supermom I am not!
I have lost my patience more times than I care to admit. I’m completely obsessing over very silly and unimportant things probably because I just can’t think rationally enough to make myself stop (like the time earlier this week I spent about an hour looking for my daughter’s shoe–bringing me to tears at 10pm). And I’m going to be honest–we have watched more than our fair share of Barney and Daniel Tiger over the past month.
Here they are eating donuts right before lunch at Chick Fil A
There’s this song that’s been playing on the Christian radio station lately. It starts by saying:
Oh these hands are tired, oh this heart is tired, oh this soul is tired
And the chorus goes:
I’ll keep on, I’ll keep on, I’ll keep on.
It just keeps repeating that phrase over and over again.
This is my newborn phase theme song! I sing my heart out whenever I hear it. My kids even recognize it when it comes on the radio. Mommy, it’s your favorite song!
Experience tells me that we will get through this phase. And I’m trying to savor it as much as I possibly can because we’re pretty sure this is our last newborn. Even if it wasn’t, I still want to cherish these newborn snuggles and kisses.
But here’s what I really want to tell all you tired moms out there:
Survival Mode is OK
It’s ok to feel tired and emotional. It’s ok to order greasy fast-food and watch lots of TV. It’s ok to take a nap instead of get 30 minutes of cardio in. This isn’t what life will be like all the time. This is a phase and it will pass. Your baby will grow and get easier. I’ve been through it back to back to back to back and I can assure you–it really does get easier.
(This is all what I’m telling myself right now, too)
If you’re finding yourself in survival mode or maybe you will be soon, know that you’re not alone. Supermom doesn’t exist. We all just do the best we can and that is exactly enough.
I’m gearing up for my first smile from this one, which according to my calculations should be any day now. Oh that first smile! It’s just the beginning of the light at the end of the tunnel. Pretty soon he’ll be sleeping longer stretches, eating less often than every few hours around the clock, and before I know it he’ll be calling “Mama!” from his crib when nap time is over and then he’ll be headed off to college.
In the meantime–and in the midst of this survival mode, some things that have really helped me are having my freezer full of food, sticking to the “one thing a day” cleaning method, and referring to some older posts on the newborn stage like:
I do intend to get back to regular blogging, but my family of course comes first and that’s not leaving much room for anything else right now. But we’re getting there!